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Faking a headache: is there a gender gap when it comes to sexual desire?

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

The oversexed fraternity brother, the pushy husband, the housewife who feigns a headache – familiar stereotypes, derived from an assumption that men have a higher sex drive than women. But is that truly the case?

The idea that most women have a lower sex drive than men is socially ingrained. It features in our cultural tropes, mirroring how it features in our daily lives – a culture where women deny their sexual desires, and many men feel that aggressive pursuit of sex is the only way to obtain it. Women’s lack of desire for sex, especially as they get older, is treated as an innate fact that men must overcome.

At a superficial glance, statistics appear to back this up – by a small margin, men do report higher sexual desire, activity, and more permissive attitudes toward sex. However, a ten-year meta study conducted by University of Wisconsin, Madison found that these results are closely tied to social factors, including age, race, and religion, indicating that sociocultural attitudes toward sex are what leads to the gender gap when it comes to sexual desire.

Psychologists Janet Hyde and Jennifer L. Petersen analyzed more than 800 sexuality studies over a period of 15 years. Their abstract states that they found “that men reported slightly more sexual experience and more permissive attitudes than women for most of the variables. However... most gender differences in sexual attitudes and behaviors were small. Exceptions were masturbation incidence, pornography use, casual sex, and attitudes toward casual sex... nations and ethnic groups with greater gender equity had smaller gender differences for some reported sexual behaviors than nations and ethnic groups with less gender equity.” Furthermore, they found that while a woman’s sex drive may decrease over time, this correlated more strongly with monogamy than with age.

With these facts in mind, it is time to discard the notion that women have an inherently lower sex drive than men – and instead turn a critical eye toward a culture that encourages disparity between genders, sexual violence, and judgmental behaviors such as ‘slut shaming’ for women who are openly sexual.

Women are challenging gender inequity in many arenas, with recent movements such as the SlutWalk, #MeToo and Time’s Up just the most visible and vocal examples of a drive to turn the spotlight on outdated and harmful stereotypes and behaviors.

Women reclaim the right to explore and express their sexual desires freely, without fear of recrimination; and what could be hotter than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to claim it as her right?

Here at the MetArt Network, we love to see women taking charge, expressing themselves sexually in whatever way comes naturally. Perhaps if society allowed all women to feel that it was safe to be their true sexual selves, no one would feel the need to fake a headache again. 

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

 

REFERENCES:

1. Petersen, J. L., & Hyde, J. S. (2010) A meta-analytic review of research on gender differences in sexuality, 1993–2007. Psychological Bulletin, 136 (1), 21-38. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0017504

2. Bergner, D. (2013) “Unexcited? There May Be a Pill for That.” The New York Times, 22 May [Online].  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/26/magazine/unexcited-there-may-be-a-pill-for-that.html

3. Gross, J.  (2014) “5 Studies That Offer Fascinating Conclusions about Human Sexuality.” TED Blog, 30 Oct. [Online]. blog.ted.com/6-studies-that-offer-fascinating-conclusions-about-human-sexuality/.

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Is Porn Cheating?

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

When it comes to infidelity, where does fantasy cross the line?

Sexuality, while an integral part of the human experience, is something that continues to polarize pundits and plain folks alike. With adult entertainment at the forefront of politics across the US and UK right now, opinions are not in short supply. Something that continues to perplex us is where pornography sits in the scope of our marriages and relationships. Is viewing porn cheating, or is the link between erotic materials and romance more complex than that?

A new study released in February of this year sought to answer that question by comparing opinions on pornography with other cultural attitudes in the United States and Spain. In examining the data gathered from University of Florida and the University of Alicante, researchers found that an overwhelming number of participants (73 percent in USA and 77 percent in Spain) believe that viewing erotic materials is not cheating.

In the sample that did find porn use to be infidelity, researchers found strong correlations to their lifestyles, including religiosity, relationship status, and overall attitudes on jealousy and infidelity. A participant from the United States was more likely to view porn as cheating, as was someone who did not use erotic materials themselves, or was single (and therefore perhaps more likely to be idealistically rigid about their attitudes toward relationships). Having low self-esteem was also a factor tied to attitudes on porn and infidelity, but only in participants from the US. Interestingly, there weren’t any gender differences – women were not more likely than men to view porn as cheating.

Church attendance was the strongest predictor of a participant’s attitude toward erotic materials and infidelity. In respondents from the US, being religious predicted the view that porn is cheating, whereas Spanish respondents showed no such effect. About 70 percent of Spaniards identify as Catholics, but only around 9 percent of citizens attend church at least monthly. In contrast, as many as 42 percent of Americans attend church weekly. This suggests that it is attendance of church services, rather than self-identification as religious, that has an impact on one’s views on pornography.

Also worth noting is that Europeans, including Spanish Catholics, tend to be less punitive about sex in general, and also less dogmatic and energized about their religion, compared to many US evangelical churchgoers. These differences may also account for the differentiation between the two countries regarding whether or not low self-esteem played a factor in participants’ opinions on infidelity – it is hardly a stretch to think that those with a pronounced desire to belong to a group may feel more pressure to conform to church ideologies.

So is the answer to avoiding marital strife a detailed survey of your partner’s demographics? Are our cultural attitudes toward porn immutable? Hardly! Studies have shown that porn use adds more positive things to your relationship than negative, including improved sexual communication – if things are properly discussed. Couples have reported that they perceived porn as being linked to more sexual experimentation and sexual comfort in their relationships. Viewing pornography is also tied to higher levels of arousability, which can keep a sexual relationship alive.

As with all things in a partnership, communication is key – talk to your partner about their attitudes to porn and infidelity. While this is a conversation that many avoid due to fear of ensuing conflict, discussing these things early on can allow couples to navigate potential problems before they occur. Odds are that your partner will be amenable to your viewing habits, and honesty is far preferable to introducing secrecy and deception into your relationship, which is more likely to hurt your partner. Instead of undermining trust, use the conversation as an opportunity to promote understanding and develop your sexuality together. Strong relationships are built upon strong communication – something no amount of porn can damage or replace. We hope MetArt will play a role in that communication.

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

 

REFERENCES:

“Dogmatic and Spiritual Religion.” Psychology Today. Accessed March 26, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201412/dogmatic-and-spiritual-religion

“Is Watching Pornography a Form of Cheating? It Depends.” Psychology Today. Accessed March 26, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201802/is-watching-pornography-form-cheating-it-depends

“Why Secrets Can Ruin Relationships.” Psychology Today. Accessed March 26, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201609/why-secrets-can-ruin-relationships

Stephanie Both, Mark Spiering, Walter Everaerd, and Ellen Laan. “Sexual Behavior and Responsiveness to Sexual Stimuli following Laboratory‐induced Sexual Arousal.” The Journal of Sex Research 41, no. 3 (08 2004): 242–58. doi:10.1080/00224490409552232.

Taylor Kohut, William A. Fisher, and Lorne Campbell. “Perceived Effects of Pornography on the Couple Relationship: Initial Findings of Open-Ended, Participant-Informed, “Bottom-Up” Research.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 46, no. 2 (07, 2016): 585–602. doi:10.1007/s10508–016–0783–6.

Charles Negy, Diego Plaza, Abilio Reig-Ferrer, and Maria Dolores Fernandez-Pascual. “Is Viewing Sexually Explicit Material Cheating on Your Partner? A Comparison Between the United States and Spain.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 47, no. 3 (02, 2018): 737–45. doi:10.1007/s10508–017–1125-z.

 

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The Sinister Effects Of SESTA

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

If you’re at all concerned about US politics or internet freedoms, you’re likely to be aware of SESTA-FOSTA. The controversial sex trafficking bill was passed by the Senate with a startling 97–2 roll call vote on March 21st, and signed into law on April 11th. SESTA-FOSTA is aimed at curbing human trafficking by removing CDA Section 230 harbors for websites that host potential sex traffickers, but its effects have already reached far further. Sex workers and internet freedom advocates are outspokenly protesting the bill, saying that it not only censors online speech, but puts consensual sex workers in real danger. 

Removing the protections of the Communications Decency Act means that websites are held legally culpable for activity they host - which upon initial reading, might sound like a good thing. However, the implications are more far-reaching than the stated intent of the bill, essentially removing the ability for sex workers to screen clientele, post advertising, and discuss their work, including sharing resources like “bad date lists” and mental health support. 

The moment SESTA-FOSTA left the US Senate, its dramatic reach began to emerge. Under the new laws, any discussion of sex work might now be considered discussion of sexual trafficking - and websites that host those conversations are shutting down left and right to avoid prosecution. Even before it was signed into law, many sites shuttered these conversations. Within 24 hours, Reddit closed their “escorts,” “male escorts,” “hookers,” and “sugar daddy” forums. Craigslist removed their personals section entirely - a move that is statistically significant, as the website’s presence has been proven to increase the safety of sex workers, reducing related homicides by 17 percent.

As the wave of changes continues, dozens of sites have closed entirely, and plenty of mainstream providers have reinforced the anti-sexuality sentiment in their terms of service, and stepped up their enforcement. Sex workers on Twitter have reported having their Google Drives wiped of content. Private Skype calls and Instagram DM’s are now subject to censorship of sexual content, and Instagram has been closing accounts. Porn sites are shuttering their comments sections and membership profiles to avoid potential violations. 

Until the government begins to enforce these laws and we can learn more about how they will be applied, their effects are unknown and potentially vast, as basically any form of communication can be used to “promote or facilitate” sex trafficking. The practical effect is that sexual speech on the internet is now subject to scrutiny, or being prevented altogether by cautious websites wishing to avoid a lawsuit. 

Despite its impact on the lives of consensual sex workers, and the erosion of online free speech, SESTA-FOSTA actually does little to accomplish its goal of fighting human trafficking. Recently closed website BackPage, charged with facilitating prostitution and money laundering, was a commonly used medium for finding traffickers and trafficking victims; its loss will take their business further underground and make trafficking harder to fight, putting more people in danger. This is what sex workers are most worried about - that they are being driven further into the dark, away from the resources that protect them.

Sex workers are responding to the new laws by fleeing social media in droves. Some have started their own networking websites based in other countries, in the hope of avoiding law enforcement and continuing to screen their clientele safely; sites like “Switter” - sex worker twitter - are cropping up across the web, though there are no protections offered by such changes. Organizations like Sex Workers Outreach Project, Free Speech Coalition, and the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee are offering support, and Twitter accounts like @pornlaw, run by lawyer Michael Fattorosi, are reaching out with advice and workshops on moving forward safely under the new restrictions.

At first read, SESTA-FOSTA sounds like an altruistic bill aimed at catching the bad guys and holding websites liable instead of allowing them to evade what seems like their responsibility. It was endorsed by celebrities who told sob stories about how these websites were havens for traffickers, and how shutting them down would save lives. In reality, it is a nightmarishly nonspecific web of potential implications for free speech, sexuality, and the safety of consensual sex workers and trafficking victims alike. We can only hope that the inevitable legal battle forces the Supreme Court to turn their eyes toward the subject and overturn these erroneous decisions as unconstitutional under the Second Amendment. 

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

REFERENCES:

Cole, Samantha. “Trump Just Signed SESTA/FOSTA, a Law Sex Workers Say Will Literally Kill Them.” Motherboard, Vice.com, 11 Apr. 2018, motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/qvxeyq/trump-signed-fosta-sesta-into-law-sex-work

De Angelo, Gregory J. Craigslist’s Effect on Violence Against Women. gregoryjdeangelo.com/workingpapers/Craigslist5.0.pdf

Fattorosi, Michael. “How Does FOSTA Impact Camming, Dating, Porn & Tube Sites…” AdultBizLaw.com, AdultBizLaw.com, 15 Apr. 2018, adultbizlaw.com/2018/04/15/how-does-fosta-impact-camming-dating-porn-tube-sites/amp/

French, Michael. “Backpage.com Prosecutors Reveal New Details on Site Shutdown Case.” AVN, 17 Apr. 2018, avn.com/business/articles/legal/backpagecom-prosecutors-reveal-new-details-on-site-shutdown-case-772645.html

“Roll Call Vote on Passage of HR 1865 SESTA/FOSTA / Last Vote of the Day | Senate Democratic Leadership.” The Floor, Senate Democrats , 21 Mar. 2018, www.democrats.senate.gov/2018/03/21/roll-call-vote-on-passage-of-hr-1865-last-vote-of-the-day

 

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The American Crusade Against Porn

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

Guns, God, and “good ol’ boys” – the United States evokes a certain image. With liberal coasts divided by a broad band of socially conservative states, the US has a reputation for being the redneck “man’s man” of the world; so why are so many states trying to curtail pornography? In this age where over 30 percent of data transmitted over the internet is adult entertainment, what effect would a moratorium on erotic images and videos have?

In a voice vote that has attracted much scrutiny, the Florida House of Representatives passed a resolution recently declaring porn a “public health risk” that “states a need for education, research and policy changes to protect Floridians, especially teenagers, from pornography.” It stands out in a bleak contrast to the same House’s overwhelming “no” to an assault rifle ban, a decision that was debated for a brief three minutes earlier that session, just days after a shooting at a high school in Broward, Florida that took 17 lives. Surely guns are more of a threat to public health than erotica?

Florida’s decision is not without precedent. In April of 2016, Utah passed a similar resolution through their legislature, and before that, the conservative state created the position widely referred to as a “Porn Czar” to oversee complaints and issues arising from erotic entertainment. Both Florida and Utah’s non binding resolutions could be considered challenges to the First Amendment decision reached in 1973’s Miller v. California, in which the Supreme Court found that erotic materials could only be restricted if they met three requirements applying community standards of offensiveness, with final say being given to the courts to determine if the work lacks “serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.”

Attorney General candidate and Florida Representative Ross Spano (R) said, “there is research that finds a connection between pornography use and mental and physical illnesses, forming and maintaining intimate relationships and deviant sexual behavior.” However, psychologists working in the field disagree; Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health associate professor Eric Schrimshaw told CNN that “...Evidence also suggests that it is not pornography in general that may be correlated with potential negative outcomes.”

Scapegoating porn and “porn addiction” as a catch-all for intimacy problems has become a commonplace topic amongst moral conservatives. However, the stigma against enjoying adult entertainment may prove to be far more harmful to the psyche. Research performed by Joshua Grubbs of Case Western shows that “seeing oneself as a porn addict is predicted not by how much porn one views, but by the degree of religiosity and moral attitudes towards sex.” Now, Grubbs has published explosive follow-up research, demonstrating that believing oneself is addicted to porn actually causes pain and psychological problems, in contrast to the idea that identifying as a porn addict is a step on the road to recovery.

Sexuality is an integral part of the human experience, and enjoyment of eroticism is a healthy part of that. Far from simply being a way to privately blow off steam, studies suggest that viewing erotic materials leads to increased arousability and higher sex drive throughout life, a fact that should surprise exactly no one who watches porn. 40 million Americans are self-described pornography users; in reality the number is likely far higher, skewed by social stigma against the habit. Erotica has been a part of human life since the Paleolithic era, and puritanical edicts like the ones from Florida and Utah do nothing for public health, save to damage our collective sexual psyche.

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

 

REFERENCES:

1. Anapol, Avery. "Florida House declares porn a public health risk shortly after denying assault rifle ban." The Hill. February 21, 2018. Accessed February 22, 2018. http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/374816-florida-house-votes-to-declare-porn-a-public-health-risk-within-an-hour

2. Chen, Jason. "Finally, Some Actual Stats on Internet Porn." Gizmodo. June 01, 2010. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://gizmodo.com/5552899/finally-some-actual-stats-on-internet-porn

3. Domonoske, Camila. "Utah Declares Porn A Public Health Hazard." NPR. April 20, 2016. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/20/474943913/utah-declares-porn-a-public-health-hazard

4. Grubbs, J. B. "Perceived addiction to Internet pornography and psychological distress: Examining relationships concurrently and over time." American Psychological Association. Accessed February 22, 2018. http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-42188-001

5. Howard, Jacqueline. "Is porn really a 'public health crisis'?" CNN. September 02, 2016. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://www.cnn.com/2016/07/15/health/porn-public-health-crisis/index.html

6. Leigh, Allison. "The Key to Desire." MetArt Blog: The key to desire: how to unlock this life-enhancing drive. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://www.metart.com/blog/20180216/The_key_to_desire__how_to_unlock_this_life_enhancing_drive/

7. Ley, David J. "Your Belief in Porn Addiction Makes Things Worse." Psychology Today. September 15, 2015. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201509/your-belief-in-porn-addiction-makes-things-worse

8. "Miller v. California, 413 U.S. 15 (1973)." Justia Law. Accessed February 22, 2018. https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/413/15/

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    Billy 19 minutes ago

    Ingrid lovely , Would like to see you more !

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    Borbonicon 1 hour ago

    Anonymity.A splendid idea. Artist:MetArt Exclusive Pho.Now ,who,along with myself,has had more than enough of amateur photogs delivering witless criticisms of perfect galleries?There must be quite a few.
    'this ain't right' 'that ain't right''always something wrong... In all cases,according to just a little insight and long experience among the general population of the UK,the fault lies entirely with the perceiver,and not in what it is viewing.To take actual names out of the target area is a good stroke of policy.
    Let them go and stamp their little feet in the corner and mutter and fret...they don't know how lucky they are to be viewing such quality in beauty.Away! Begone! Be off with you!

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    frederic 1 hour ago

    Mh, a real cute bb

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    snake 2 hours ago

    she needs a footjob

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    juliocabanaboy 2 hours ago

    ...with cute freckles as well.

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    fireball-xl5 2 hours agoLifetime member

    Dear Alice,

    Despite the strongest opposition possible from the extremely cute Kay J, you are definitely my cutie pie of the day and it was you and this wonderful gallery that I chose to masturbate over today, so thank you pretty lady for making me cum.

    Love and Hot Kisses, Paul, XXXXXXXXXX!

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    Aramus 2 hours agoLifetime member

    I think there's a stunning model somewhere amongst those trees. Hard to tell in the majority of these photos. Another wasted opportunity to really show off the stunning Alice May.

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    fireball-xl5 2 hours agoLifetime member

    I have to agree, as I've masturbated countless times over each and every one.

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